Protonated water clusters that are hydrogen-bonded to a neutral benzene molecule are a reductionist model for protons at hydrophobic surfaces, which are of fundamental importance in biological energy transduction processes. Of particular interest is the protonated water dimer (Zundel ion) on benzene, whose gas-phase messenger IR spectrum has been previously interpreted in terms of an asymmetric binding of the protonated water dimer to the benzene ring through a single water molecule. This standing Eigen isomer has a hydronium core. We have found an alternative crouching Zundel isomer, which attaches to the benzene ring symmetrically via both of its water molecules. When Ar-tagged, it has an IR spectrum in much better agreement with experiment than the standing Eigen isomer, particularly at the lower frequencies. These conclusions are based on static harmonic (and anharmonic) normal-mode analysis using density functional theory with various (dispersion corrected) functionals and particularly on dynamic anharmonic spectra obtained from the dipole autocorrelation functions from classical ab initio molecular dynamics with the BLYP, PBE, and B3LYP functionals. Possible implications to protons on water/organic-phase interfaces are discussed.