The potential of mean force (PMF) of a phospholipid in a bilayer is a key thermodynamic property that describes the energetic cost of localized lipid defects. We have calculated the PMF by umbrella sampling using molecular dynamics simulations. The profile has a deep minimum at the equilibrium position in the bilayer and steeply rises for displacements both deeper into the bilayer and moving away from the bilayer. As the lipid loses contact with the bilayer, the profile abruptly flattens without a significant barrier. The calculated free energy difference of 80 kJ/mol between the minimum of the PMF and the value in water agrees well with the free energy difference calculated from the experimentally measured critical micelle concentration. Significant water/lipid defects form when a lipid is forced into the bilayer interior, in the form of a small water pore that spans the membrane. The energy required to form such a water pore is also found to be 80 kJ/mol. On the basis of this energy, we estimate the lipid flip-flop rate and permeability rate of sodium ions. The resulting rates are in good agreement with experimental measurements, suggesting lipid flip-flop and basal permeability of ions are pore mediated.